a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
