I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize