I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
