I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
