they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
