You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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