Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Your cock deserves a montage
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
