also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And then my night got REAL pukey
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
