She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
