I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize