White coat. Heels.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
