oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
