My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
