Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
