Just cropdusted the office
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
