he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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