Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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