Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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