I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
