OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
