Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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