Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize