Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
