would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize