Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
