Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
