Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
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