My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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