I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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