We got so high we made milksteak
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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