...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
