Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
