Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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