Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Found your dick twin last night
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
