she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Quick, to the slutcave!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
