I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
