clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
