I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
