You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
