She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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