Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
