Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
