i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
