she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My vagina is very pro this idea
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