420 ftw
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
