Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
