Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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