Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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