Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
