So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize