what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
