If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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