the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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