talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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