There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
