All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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