This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
