Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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