Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you had me at cake vodka
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
